Are they the only three people in the workplace? To cap it off, she has started picking her nose quite explicitly. Decrease the authority you have in the workplace, over a team or within a project group. However, I draw the line at cheap room fragrance oil diffuser things for some reason, those set off my migraines. Same here. He probably has post nasal drip from seasonal allergies or GERD/ acid reflux. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability. Single. I even bought new clothes. Used only a little, but it took four washes to get most of the scent out of my clothing. 5.3k views Reviewed >2 years ago. LW, is it possible that laundering has not removed the fragrance from your work clothes? BTW, I always carry surgical masks and charcoal filters with me. Well, OP seems to think they have entirely addressed the problem by stopping wearing scents and washing in unscented detergent, and so when they try to assess the situation they are incorrectly starting from a belief that they dont/cant actually smell. If those same people saw the fire, theyd be grateful and not at all offended. But definitely talk to your manager about moving spaces. Wear a smoking jacket when I stepped out? I lost a week of my life once because my husband used one of their plug ins. It was untrue and unkind. This is me being petty (so maybe dont do what Im about to suggest), but if she makes some snide remark or complains again, say to her (in a really concerned voice): Have you considered getting help or initiating the ADA accommodation process? Have someone independently walk in and see what they smell where. However, I noticed you said you stopped wearing perfume but have you also stopped using the indie oil scents? Your team's target will be based on both expansion and retention goals. The OP is probably very used to it, and if the coworker is very sensitive, I can see where he or she might think it was still being used. She stunk two coworkers cars, a 2-hour townhall meeting, the cinema, and after a brisk walk outside. If this coworker is so sensitive to scent that those everyday, likely-impossible-to-avoid things are enough to cause problems, then she needs accommodations beyond just asking coworkers to not wear perfume. I had creme brulee the night before a gallbladder attack the ended in surgery. I keep shooting annoyed looks at her but she has yet to pick up the hints. i'll pass the info along, it's really appreciated! Im 35 years old. I use a kind of spicey hand cream as a scent and I have noticed that it is hard to get out of clothes. take a deep breath (through your mouth): The cause of chronic sniffling is This, in a nutshell, is why misophonia is so awful. The scent I was wearing suddenly started being unbearable right after I received a promotion. Even I cant wear those. The best stories to me, are the ones when the odor in the shoes is the worst! I think considerate coworkers like you should do what they can to help out other coworkers, but at the same time, you shouldnt have to give up something you enjoy using in your free time because of a work conflict. Stay calm. not wearing perfume to work). The entire planet is not going to change to accommodate you. I can understand perfume as that can be very potent and seems to do well to linger in the air. Im a grown-up, so I wouldnt do that, but oh, Lord, would I want to. However, completely overhauling my beauty product inventory to find something thats scent free AND works for me (so that I dont show up to work in my naturally oily, sweaty, smelly state) would be a huge burden. What if coworker says the only acceptable product is $100/bottle? I think of my paternal grandma when I smell Jergens lotionthe cherry-almond scentand sunscreen because they lived in Corpus Christi and we always got drowned in Coppertone when we visited. All day every day. All Rights Reserved. Many problems can lie behind that runny nose. Ugh, bathroom sprays. It drives me nutty but Im also contributing to the issue. WOW! [there are too many comments to read so I apologise if this is redundant]. I do feel for people who can barely leave their homes due to their sensitivities, even if Im not convinced everyones hygiene regimen should revolve around them. It literally smells so strongly it reaches the entire office. In high school I had a job at a chain pizza place. That is literally the worst of all worlds. My sensitivities dont entitle me to that kind of control over another person, the LWs coworkers dont either. Even if its not her clothes, I wonder if some of the scented oils ended up getting transferred to her workspace and shes picking it up every day when she gets there. No one else can smell it. If you happen to burp unexpectedly, excuse yourself quickly and avoid making a big deal about it. I live in the U.S., but Im African and I work in an office where people are from all over the world. I have very short (pixie-length) bleached and dyed hair, and the schedule I have works really well for both the color and the texture of my hair. I also switch my perfume up pretty often, so its not like I have one scent that Im repeating every day. Allie, that is what I was thinking as well. OP has done everything possible to accommodate them. She used to cry to me about how she is single and she even said to me once what is wrong with me? Also, interestingly enough, I have grandparents who live in another country. I think Alisons advice is bang on, and the mediated conversations/HR accommodation advice is going to be important for snapping Coworker out of her combative/belittling behavior and into a more productive vibe. (Thanks a lot, weather.). Along the same lines of my co-worker who has no problem with one persons tuna salad but will make gagging gestures about another persons reheated biryani. My mom taught me this trick. I can also relate to the last part about being cordial before but not anymore. Therefore, I only bring it up to people if I cant avoid the person and just deal with it because I feel that I shouldnt dictate how others live their own lives. BINGO. I happen to like scents like patchouli, but it is a strong scent, so perhaps its lingering someplace. Stop using the lemon-scented body wash for a few days and see if she keeps making the comments. Shampoo? I think the OP has done everything reasonable to avoid bringing scents to the work area. But I was young and naive and I said all I had done was use soap (which was standard issue and unscented) before I left the restroom. I didnt know that about the ice cream thing! Never in my life did I think I'd see Gordon Ramsay quoted positively in an etiquette forum, but there it is, and he did well. And there can be a lot of cultural baggage around scent. Screw this lady. It strikes me that she was initiating a power play. But it can also be something in the building, in the carpet, or any other thing. There are people who believe very strongly in this initiative, so it wouldnt surprise me to encounter that sentiment here or elsewhere. So while your ailment might be legitimate, running from the room or suddenly grabbing your forehead when you smell someone these behaviors ARE going to seem rude and you might have to accept that and live with being known as rude. It provides non-invasive noise and pleasurable feelings, to effectively neutralise the unconscious attention system's ability to distract us. Especially since she mentioned using oils if the oils get onto fabric, they may be especially persistent and OP may not even notice at all anymore. Ive been good so far, though. I have spoken to my manager who has spoken to my coworker several times but . Hippie/hipster stink is the common parlance. If co-worker said that the scented oils give her migraines or make her feel like shes going to vomit, I think thats a different level than just saying I dont like that scent. We ended up going out to a bar that evening in a group, and as the night went on, people slowly peeled off until it was just the two of us. It really is a nightmare and it has caused a host of anxiety problems for me in addition to the physical one because of the aggressive hostility I have received as a result of approaching people about their scents. I commented below, but it seems to me that your coworker just doesnt like your scent. I do have a sweater that lives at the office, and I took it home and washed it after she complained. We still see each other fairly regularly Because Kids and its extremely jarring that he looks the same but smells wrong. Im actually okay with smells, its that alcohol or whatever base of them that gets me most of the time. And I feel you pain. BUT youve gone above and beyond. Hmm, I had no idea. I will also say, as someone who is very sensitive to smells, that if the scent bothers the coworker it would probably only take a trace amount for her to smell it, although shes handling it like a jerk. When everything is researched and it ends up being something other than you, shell have to quit harassing you. At the same time, my regular hearing has worsened noticeably. Your box of tissues has become your closest companion (and admit it your sleeve has been called in to pinch hit on a couple of terrible occasions). I wonder, are there treatment options for people who are extra sensitive to fragrances? Im just glad this is a common enough problem that most hotels use unscented products to wash their linens or Id have to travel with a sleeping bag. thanks! She likes the idea and often makes it a part of our sexlife. It went something like;"Pete, I need to give you feedback. Seriously, have you ever had to restock all of your cleaning crap lately? Middle ear pressure and nasopharyngeal pressure were simultaneously measured during forceful sniffing. Ooh, I would love to have a coworker who smelled like cookies! But yeah, some smells cling to clothes through the laundry. Honestly, as someone with deadly allergies, Id appreciate the effort you were putting in. Ive had many people tell me that they do not like how I smell, primarily due to the smoking. Im not sure the OP really can win with this co-worker.. I understand having to accommodate a coworker with an ADA request (although correct me if Im wrong but I believe that would come directly from the company and likely wouldnt require everyone to replace all scented everything they own because that seems like an unreasonable accommodation) but in this case its a coworker who is ceaselessly complaining about the OPS existence rather than her actual scent, based on the steps shes taken. Telecommuting, or disability, at that point. McCoy is a journalism graduate of Ryerson University. Unfortunately, I have a colleague with whom I work quite closely who wears a perfume/scent that Ive become quite sensitive to. Alison gave you the next steps so go from there. If she says the smell is on your scarf, but you have a new scarf, then Id get a second opinion. She had her unit say it was me. I turn on my fan to get it blown away from my desk. Right; this is where the psychology of scent gets complicated, because everything and everybody has a scent, and everything and everybody is made of chemicals. My parents have one of those. At this point, the issue is that she has a coworker whos being rude and snarky to her, not that she should just stop using bubble bath on weekends or so forth. We've compiled some of the signs that your coworker might be flirting with you so you can look out for them next time you're at work. 1. The only crossover is my jeans, but I dont wear any scent on my lower half. The coworker seems to expect a level of accommodation that you should really only expect from someone youre cohabiting with. Diversion. The only scent mnemonics that lemon ever hits for me are dish soap and hard candies! The cash registers were adjacent to the beauty products and scented oils so all of the patchouli lovers would use the tester oils then wander through the store to shopAND the employees who loved patchouli would do the same. Hopefully she can get her coworker to stop! I made a similar comment waaaaay below. Sad. I so rarely tell anyone if their perfume or whatever bothers me (especially since it is often some other product that it scentedpeople who use scented detergents can smell really strongly to me) because it seems so loaded. I believe this poster also used vinegar rinses on her hair and it was a regular thing, so the aggregate of trace smells was probably passing the tipping point. It can provide an. Or she hates the smell of all shampoo. I guess my point is if coworker is smelling something and attributing it to the OP because of past issues, something needs to be done to determine what the source of something is, and I know blindfolds are a weird thing, but it might actually worth it to float as a trial balloon that Look youre smelling something, we agree you are, youre not crazy, but we DONT agree on what something is. Sometimes though, the cat wee smell will catch up to me and Ill get home from work and WHOA. It was actually a specific experiment testing chemotherapy-related food aversions. It sounds like OP has done everything she can reasonably do, and now its time for managers to step in. I cannot imagine going to work everyday without perfume on. Not sure if she has a medical condition though or she just doesnt wear deodorant/antiperspirant. *grin*. I used to love a scented oil, Rose Musk and I had to stop wearing it because I had two bosses that made their eyes water. Good idea! putting an end to your runny nose. So its not necessarily a harmless choice for me to switch to unscented stuff. On an airplane I dont need to interact with others, so being anti-social is not an issue. Thats rough, though I hope you can work it out. It sucked. I dont think LW should have to go above and beyond and Feebreeze her office and dryclean her clothes and not take bubble baths on her *own time* and and and and. (and frankly, it is no longer OPs problem to address. {Imagine you are in a burning house and if you dont get out in the next 10 minutes, you will pass out from the smoke and/or get burned. Wow. 4. To qualify as a hostile work environment, the conduct must be offensive not only to the employee, but also to a reasonable person in the same circumstances. The fabrics used in most work clothes are synthetic or a blend. Its easy to say to OP to be bold and confront her directly but if youre like me and just dont have that type of personality, sometimes other solutions can be helpful. I cant hear what my sons saying if hes sitting next to me but facing the other direction, but cant not hear him eating popcorn from the other room. my boyfriends manager told me I could date someone better, new CEO keeps talking about diet and exercise, coworker asks me to cover for him when hes not really off, and more. Your nose is a faucet, and there's no way to turn it off. If some of these ideas dont work, I might try asking her, What, exactly, are you smelling? Um no. I understand that fragrances can be bothersome (I dont like many of them myself), but the coworker needs to define whether this goes beyond plain bothersome into I-cannot-concentrate territory. I shudder just typing the words. The runny nose, persistent stuffiness, and postnasal drip of the sniffles are often self-diagnosed as a cold. Would you mind linking to some of that research? Maybe if I just put the lotion in my nose. Let go of the guilt. (Ive had a lot of practice). That is a very specific smell that many associate with granola hippie types. The following Monday, though, I noticed the scent was strong again, so commented to her about it. I can relate to this. But doesnt hurt to try, and Alison and others offer great suggestions. Say this to the coworker: Jane, since you raised this issue, I have stopped wearing any scented products to work, and I have washed all of my work clothes in unscented laundry detergent. Agreed. Ive heard that she is now complaining about someone else I used to work with. how do you handle being pregnant at work? Yeah, Im not seeing spending more time continuing to pinpoint the cause. It can be super effective for getting odors out, although certain perfumes and oil-based scents get so embedded in clothes that they may not come out at all :(. Every time this happens I go through a spate of cleaning everything and thinking I smell pee ALL THE TIME. (It just fell in! OP, it sounds like your coworker is just a jerk. I think the LWs coworker is bullying her and LW should respond accordingly. At this point I feel like it would be a bad idea to wear *any* perfume around her, patchouli or no. Its not a neutral and pleasant sort of floral whatever. My brother worked for years at Subway and CONSTANTLY reeked of it and his car, and his room I still cannot walk into a Subway without feeling sick. Do you burn anything that smells like it, like incense, when youre home? But you can pry my Gain laundry detergent out of my cold dead hands. The cuffs absolutely did smell like patchouli but I had gone nose blind to it. If that doesn't do it, HR or headphones. I know my winter parka can definitely retain scents in the fur on the hood, so it might be something like that transferring scents? Surely people grow out of this shortly after high school, surely a grown adult wouldnt comment on someones smell unless it was bothering them. If not I would actually quit over this. He says it's allergies and that the allergy medicines make him drowsybut I'm not so sure it's even allergies. When used often enough, this technique can make your colleague think twice about the . provided by the hotel. Ive always had it and its bananas impossible to explain to anyone without coming off as a jerk when Id suddenly fume or snap a pencil under the table or run away from the dinner table. Cleaning crap lately fragrance oil diffuser things for some reason, those set off my migraines a. Shell have to quit harassing you sensitive to fragrances too many comments to read so I wouldnt that. Of these ideas dont work, I always carry surgical masks and charcoal filters with coworker constantly sniffing but... But I dont need to interact with others, so commented to about! 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N'T do it, HR or headphones feelings, to effectively neutralise the unconscious attention system #...